Backbiting

by Monte Wood
Christian's Expositor Journal Dec 1993

The tongue is described by the writer James as an, "unruly evil, full of deadly poison" James 3:8, New King James Version). It is apparent in the church that we are proving this statement to be true. Brethren, the poison is being released in lethal doses throughout our brotherhood, and it is time for us to address this problem for two vital reasons: it is jeopardizing the souls of many Christians and dividing them in their service to God. It is also hindering the spiritual growth and unity of the church by causing division and strife among God's people. It was Jesus Christ Himself in Matthew 12:25 who said, "Every Kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided itself will not stand." I understand in the context of this statement, that Jesus Christ is speaking to a group of Pharisees and addressing their belief that Jesus is casting out demons in the name of Beelzehub. Pay close attention; however, to the insight that Jesus provides us when He makes this statement.

"Every Kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation." We as members of Christ's body (1 Corinthians 12:27), too many times are divided because someone has lost control of their tongue and said harmful words against another. What frequently happens is that everyone will choose a side and thus the unity of that congregation is damaged if not broken. How can a congregation commit itself to the Lord's work if they are squabbling amongst themselves?

Christ goes on to say, "Every city or house divided, against itself will not stand." It is interesting to note that Christ refers to the individual as a city in Matthew 5:14. Christ also refers to our spiritual lives as a house in Luke 6:48-49 and Matthew 7:24-27. We cannot stand as individuals in God's Kingdom if we are divided in our service between God and the works of this world (Matthew 6:24). That is exactly what happens when God's people begin to speak evil against one another; we are divided in our service.

The sternest warning comes straight from God's Word in Romans 1. As the writer Paul warns the Romans about the wrath of God upon their unrighteousness --- notice in verse twenty-nine what is squeezed between "whispers" and "haters of God" ---"backbiters." The word "backbiter" in this verse is translated from the Greek word katalaleo with the first derivative kata meaning "against" and the second derivative laleo meaning "to speak." Do you hear and understand what God is telling us? The sin of speaking evil against one another is numbered right up there with those who hate God, murderers, the unforgiving, etc. That may come as a surprise to many who tend to "rank" sins on a scale of one to ten (even the writer of this article has been guilty of this at times). We would like to think that murder is a ten and its punishment deserves the full wrath of God, while backbiting "ranks" somewhere from one-to-three and the punishment should be far less severe. Wrong! The Bible says in verse 37 of this chapter that "those who knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death." What was Paul saying? Did you know that if I speak evil against another that I am worthy of death --- the same punishment as a murderer? How much stronger of a warning do we need before we start paying attention to this sin?

"But so-and-so said this and thus about me, so I have every right to say what I said." How many times have you heard this excuse? I will he honest, I have heard it as many times as I have used it myself. I have justified my sin with the human logic that I can say whatever I choose about the other person because they have backbitten against me first, I am justified, correct? Wrong! We have lost sight of what the Bible teaches us in I Peter 3: 8-9 that we are not to return evil for evil:

"Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing," (I Peter 3:8-9).

I understand how easy it is at times to fall into this trap. The thing that has helped me the most in dealing with this sin is to understand my role as a follower of Jesus Christ. Christ says unto His disciples in John 13:16: "Most assuredly, I say to you a servant is not greater that his master; nor is he who sent greater than he who sent him." We must realize that Jesus Christ is our Master and we are never above those things that Christ had to suffer while He was on this earth. Keep deep within your heart Jesus's words, "a servant is not greater than his master." Now, listen to Peter as he puts our lives in Christ into perspective:

"For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 'Who committed no sin, Nor was guile found in His mouth' who when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, But committed Himself to Him who judges righteously," (1 Peter 2:21-23).

Our role in Christ, as is advised in verse 21 is to follow in Jesus's steps. He left us an "example" not so that we would turn to our own ways. but that we would follow His perfect example. If Christ our Master "suffered" then it falls upon our shoulders to suffer also. Remember, "a servant is not greater than his master." How many of us can say that the things we suffer due to someone's backbiting are worse than the suffering that Christ went through here on this earth? Does anyone dare say that they are greater than Jesus Christ, so they do not have to suffer? Instead of biting back at others we should follow Christ and commit ourselves to Him who judges righteously. We are never justified in our motives for backbiting. Two wrongs do not make a right.

I believe it is safe to say that we have all felt the sting of the backbiter's tongue. It hurts does it not? What upsets me the most about this sin is that many times it occurs when one of our brothers or sisters in Christ is struggling with their spiritual lives. We seem to jump into our little groups and start chattering away about the sister who has cut her hair or the brother who has been skipping services. It seems that when we need each other the most to bear one another's burdens, "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:1-2); instead we just add to the frustration and weight of the burden upon those who need us the most. Why is that?

If there is one thing we need to learn more than anything else, when it comes to dealing with our brothers and sisters, it is compassion. I would say that ninety percent of the time we do not know the whole story. Many times we cannot understand what someone else is going through because we have not been there ourselves. There is a story from the life of our Savior Jesus Christ that I invite yon to study. This gripping example of compassion is found in John 8:1-12. I encourage you to read it. Study it. Visualize every little detail found in those twelve short verses and you will see the compassion that we need to have in our lives. I guarantee, you will he moved in your soul. Then remember again, "a servant is not greater than his master" If Christ can show such compassion, then so must we.

If there is a cure for this problem it is love. When we have love in hearts for our brothers and sisters it makes it real hard to speak against them. When we love someone we try and understand. We help. We encourage. We never give up hope because love is the tie that binds two hearts together.

I received some good advice not too long ago from a brother. He put it like this: "There is found in I Corinthians the thirteenth chapter a definition of love. If you will take that definition of love and apply it to every area. of your life that you are commanded to love you will be pure in your service to the Lord. Love is the key to serving the Lord; just as it was the key to God's plan for man's redemption."

I still hold that as the best advice that I have ever been given. I understand that one who loves his brothers and sisters in Christ (1 John 2:10) will not speak evil of them. How can I say that I am suffering long with my brother if I speak evil against him? How can I say that I am being kind to my sister it I am speaking evil against her? Do I love my brother when I behave rudely toward him by backbiting against him? It all comes together when Paul says, "Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:8). We will not fail to comply to God's law if we love with the kind of love that is defined in I Corinthians 13. That includes the sin of backbiting.

The sin does occur, and my guess is that it will always be a problem. We can minimize the effect that it has on our congregations and our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Many times the worst effects of this sin are felt when it is not handled properly. Jesus Christ gives us instruction on how to deal with a brother who sins against us. Backbiting would fall under this instruction:

"Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear you, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.' And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector," (Matthew 18:15-17).

Our first step in dealing with this problem, as instructed by Christ, is to go to that brother alone. This problem does not need anyone else involved at this point. That means if you have told one person, even if it is your closest friend, you have told too many people. We all have people that we confide in. The person you tell may go and tell another person. That means four people have been brought into a problem that involves only two. If the cycle continues this small problem is blown way out of proportion.

The first step also involves going to that brother in private. Before a crowd of people is not the time or place to talk to this brother about the problem. People will probably see your discussion and wonder what is happening. That's a good way for rumors to start and even more problems to a rise.

Ninety percent of the time the problem will be solved on the initial private visit. If it is not resolved, Christ gives further instruction on how to deal with the problem --- "Take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established'" (Matthew 18:16). The purpose of this meeting is so that you will have witnesses to affirm your attitude towards the problem and to be certain that every word is in sincerity and truth.

When you choose those two or three to go with you do not choose your best friends. If that is the case, the second party may feel you are ganging up on them. Make sure you pick someone the second party respects and will listen to. An elder or deacon (if available) is usually a good choice in the selection of your witnesses. You want to make sure the second party knows you are serious about this situation, while at the same time they are comfortable with the group of people.

I have never heard of it happening where the problem of someone backbiting against another has been brought before the church, though that does not mean it has not or will not. But if it does, that is exactly what should happen. The whole purpose for these proceedings is to solve a problem that could cost the other party their soul and cause strife and division in the church. Christ's words are simple. "And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses to hear the church, let him he to you like a heathen and a tax collector" (Matthew 18:17). We must stand strong in the words of Jesus Christ. This whole process is for the betterment of the individual and the congregation. If he does not hear the church he is to be disfellowshipped. It may seem a heavy sentence, but it may just take that for them to realize their sin. If they do finally come to their senses then you have gained your brother and kept him from the sentence of death on the judgment day, (Romans 1:32).

I am sure that almost everyone will agree that the sin of backbiting is an excessive problem among God's people. In this article we have seen the warning from God about this sin --- death. Hell should he good enough motivator for us to guard against this sin in our lives. Also, those concerned with the growth and unity of the church should he prepared to deal with this problem if it does arise. The best way to stop this problem is to make sure that God's people are well educated in its punishment, effects, and how to deal with it. This has been the motivation behind this article. I pray that if anything has been said that is not in accordance with God's will that I will be contacted and corrected.
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